Sadje’s Sunday Poser #88 7-10-2022


Sadje is our lovely hostess for “Sunday Poser” a prompt where she shares a beautiful image and a thought to consider.   Let’s see what she has today:


What do people incorrectly assume about me?   There’s a lot of things.  Of course, what others think, being none of my business, and what they think of me even less so, I have no verification of any assumptions, but I get impressions.  

One of them is that I’m kind (read gullible).  I like to think I AM kind.  I have worked really hard to see others’ points of view, to remember to stop talking and start listening, and to help where I can.  All those things are kind actions I believe.  

BUT.  I most definitely am not kind to beggars.  And inevitably they try to hit on me for cash.  I just as inevitably send them away with a flea in their ear.  One such began to approach me in the grocery parking lot the other day and abruptly stopped, spun on their heels and went the opposite direction.  They caught sight of my face I suppose.  I simply do not give to people I don’t know with implausible sob stories (99% of the time).  Now and then, if I am nudged by my higher power, I will give some money to someone I’m impressed really needs it.
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Another assumption is that because my hair is white now, I’ve become irredeemably stupid.  Doddering.  Pat the old dear on the head and explain it to her in small words, speaking slowly so she understands.  It doesn’t help that I tend to tip over (fall down) sometimes now and I look pretty frail I suppose.  That state of affairs has not affected my brain nor common sense (thank God).  Someone making that assumption will probably end up getting the sharp edge of my tongue eventually.  I still have to work on being less sarcastic.
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The third is that I’ve never changed.  This is an assumption held purely by folks I’ve known my whole life or a good portion of my life.  They tend to trot out things like “Mel ALWAYS *insert juvenile behavior that I once exhibited*.  

The thing about assumptions is that to break it down ‘assume” = ass+you+me.   I’m not an ass, most of the people I know aren’t asses either, so why assume things and sully the whole question?  

People don’t exist in a vacuum.  We all grow and change and learn life lessons that change us.  Hopefully the changes are positive ones.   Also, I’m not exempt from the assumption time to time myself.  But I really try to avoid that.

24 thoughts on “Sadje’s Sunday Poser #88 7-10-2022

  1. I’ve always been one who would wait for someone to come over and talk to me rather than I make the first move. It suggests that I’m being rude in their eyes I guess? but I don’t mean to be.

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    1. I privately think we all do that, just some more than others. I NEVER approached a guy in my life for the purposes of getting to know them better (and all that implies). I had a friend who had no qualms, she’d go talk to anyone. Given she was paralyzed from the neck down, made it even more amazing. I don’t know how she dared to do that. I’d be cringing the whole time.

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      1. Yes, I used to feel awkward because of my ‘stoop’ (before I had it corrected). I still do but not nearly as bad. I can’t stand for long periods but I’m happy to chat when I’m in a chair or on a stool.

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    1. I dearly love the quote that cites “What Other People Think Of Me Is None Of My Business”. Less trauma that way, and a lot less worrying about what some yahoo you might not even know very well thinks.

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  2. You hit on one of my pet peeves. I HATE it when people assume that just because I’m old, I must be feeble-minded. Whenever some young whippersnapper starts treating me as if I were senile, I want to bust them in the chops.

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  3. Oh #2 – makes steam come out of my ears just thinking about it – Female? Old? Then you are treated like an idiot 3 year old – makes me nuking futz! And if you call them out on it? Then you are aggressive and belligerent – Don’t get me started…

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  4. I was put off by one person begging in the subway when I worked for the bank, and he vacted his spot to someone else, He was ahead of me as I was returning to the office and got into a merc.
    I don’t give to beggars now, certainly not money unless they are busking and are damn good, but there is one guy we have come to know by sight in one of the towns we visit and we will buy him a hot drink and a sandwich or pastry on a cold day. He is a fan of Jack Reacher (Lee Child’s ‘hero) and I have read most of the books……. that was until Tom Cruise took the role and killed the character for me.

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    1. I never got into Jack Reacher, had planned to, and then they came out with old Mr. Cruise in the role. I heard such nasty feedback that I was put off. Besides Tom Cruise is too short to make a believable tough guy (same applied to his Mission Impossible films) in my opinion. I guess it’s the name those casting directors look for, not talent nor suitability of the actor to play the role. I caught the fruit fly who hangs around a local warehouse shopping center place. He was sneakily hiding his BMX mountain bike in the bushes behind where he plies his ‘trade’. I called out “Nice bike!” and really made him jump. I just don’t trust the pan handler and haven’t for years. The most gracious one I ever encountered was this older gentleman on the Trax train (our answer to an ‘el’ or commuter train) in Salt Lake. He asked me for a quarter. I said “Do I look like I have any spare quarters?” He had to admit that no I did not. Then he said “Well God Bless you anyway.” I almost gave him something. He was a gentleman about it.

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        1. It’s sad that the visual didn’t match the one people had of the character. The author ought to be righteously upset because I bet it hit him in the wallet. You are not the only one who has said the same thing!

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            1. Well if it is so, then we all got a glimpse of how the author ‘saw’ his character. Reacher is a action hero sort of character right? Who casts short and kinda scrawny looking with a smug grin to play an action hero? I guess it’s above my pay grade! 😄

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              1. I think he went for a big name to attract cinema goers as with the Mission Impossible franchise, but it backfired. Reacher is 6 feet 5 and 220 to 240 pounds, not a 5 foot six ego on shoe lifts.

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                1. That’s what I’d heard. There are plenty of taller, hunka hunka young actors (Chris Pine? Armie Hammer, Henry Cavill, Ryan Reynolds to name a few) around who are famous (perhaps not as famous as Cruise granted) who would have fulfilled the role nicely IMHO. But who am I to say? I’m not a widely published author either. And just for interest I looked up the ‘100 Top Young Actors of 2022’. Pretty scrawny bunch over all.

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                  1. Good suggestions except Ryan Reynolds lost all street cred with me in the crappy film Hobbs and Shaw (spin off from Fast and Furious which didn’t work IMO). if ever a script was irrelevant, it was his, and the end scene was DIRE!
                    Reacher could well have been played by Ray Stevenson, Aaron Eckhart, Sam Elliot (in his younger days), John Cena or Ron Perlman.

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                    1. That whole Fast and Furious franchise deal is another I never saw. Ryan Reynolds has feet of clay? O the humanity!! Sam Eliot (phew!) And his generation of actors was spoiled for choice — There was Bruce Willis, Tom Selleck, Harrison Ford, Tommy Lee Jones and even Sean Connery. Old T C wouldn’t have gotten a look in IMO.

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