Throw Back Thursday 7-28-2022 – Playing the Game

This week’s prompt is: Your First Dating Experiences is from our hostess, Lauren.  Maggie co-hosts every other week.    Here’s a list of prompt questions from Lauren!

First let me clear up a couple of things.   As a teenager (a respectable age for going on a date was 16) I did not date.  Save for twice.   I was an extreme introvert with mental illness issues that took up far too much time for me to be thinking about boys.   

A boy in my neighborhood, who had many of the same problems as I did, made it clear he thought we could become girlfriend/boyfriend, but it was quickly ended.  His family (consisting of an elderly grandmother with cancer) did not like the girls he brought home, and my family was just cruel about it, making jokes and sneering.   This song always reminds me of the guy who gave me my first kiss and my first ring.  

After I left home and lived on my own, that kind of situation changed dramatically.  It was the end of the 70s and into the early 80s, and I did what all the other young people were doing (to an extent – I never tried drugs).  But ‘dates’ were plentiful enough, even though the idea that I wasn’t quite pretty enough to be considered someone’s girlfriend or steady was common.  I admit I had a great time though. 

1) On your very first date, did you do the asking, or were you asked out?    My mother never liked it that I wasn’t more ‘normal’ and so she arranged a date for me.  The eldest son of a co-worker was my date, he being as awkward and “shy” as I was plus having some physical issues or cognitive ones, I’ve never been sure.   He brought his brother (who was my age) on our date.  This was not repeated because of the sheer awkwardness of the whole situation, plus me threatening my mother “to stop meddling in my life, you’ve had yours, leave mine alone! although over the years Ma was still out there looking for a man for me. 

2) Were you typically stressed out before a first date? Did things seem to be easier the more you dated the same person?  No and sure.  You get to know the person rather well if you go out together several times.

3) What did you do to prepare for the date? Did you wear new clothes, or special outfits?  My whole dating history included two dates (while I was in high school), the fix-up and one pity date.  I got to go out with the Captain of the Football Team, a golden boy who was funny and kind.  His steady girlfriend, Head Cheerleader, was on a similar date with a boy who was in the same boat as me – i.e. we didn’t date. 

4) How did you meet those first dates? Were your dates with friends of a family member, or friends of a friend?  As mentioned above.

5) Did you have a curfew on those early dates? Did you typically arrive home on time or were you constantly breaking curfew?   Oh heck no.  The time one got home from a date such as I experienced was well within any curfew.  I don’t even remember having one either.

6) Did your parents insist on meeting whomever you dated?   Nope.  Done and dusted with that first date.  Pops was at work at that hour anyway.

7) Where did you usually go when on a date? (movies, concerts, picnics, etc.)  Bad (really bad) Chinese food where I sat between those two boys in a both, and I believe a movie with the football guy.

8) Did the boy/man always pay for the date or did you go Dutch treat?   They paid.  In later scenarios (when I was older, discovered ‘boys’  and actually went on quite a few dates), one requirement (privately held deal breaker) was if the guy didn’t pay, especially on the first date, that was that.  Cheap is cheap and I had no patience for cheapos.  Now if we’d going out a while (there was only one of those in my dating history) I didn’t mind paying half now and then.  But a good way not to impress a girl?  Is to be stingy on the first date.  Ugh.

9) Were you typically the talker or the listener on a date?   Um.  Introvert here.  I’m a great listener and just did that most of the time.

10) What did you do if the date clearly wasn’t going well? (feign a headache, ask to go home, end the date early, etc.)  I’d just say I had to work the next day (which wasn’t a lie) and cut it short.  No further effort required on either of our parts, because if it doesn’t work, it’s no good (IMO) beating a dead horse.

11) A connection from the past to the present, if applicable. How long did you date your current partner before marriage?   We went on three dates, one of which was him cooking dinner for me, and he moved in with me within three months.  Three or so years later we got married.

12) Bonus Question: Care to share a disasters first date??????  Okay.  There was a boy in high school (my last year) who followed me around, sat by me if at all possible in any class we had together and in general mooned around.   I’m not under any illusion that I’m a beauty queen and that sort of attention made me really uncomfortable, so nothing ever came of it. 

Fast forward to ten years later (or so), and we made arrangements to go on a date.  You can’t go home again is said for good reason.   He showed up for the date not quite four sheets to the wind but sailing damned near, and took me to this fancy ‘restaurant’ for dinner.  In reality it was as close to a nightclub as Salt Lake got back then.  He proceeded to have three or four tequila sunrises, all the while saying what a looker the waitress was.  He even tried to hit on her with me sitting right there. 

We never had dinner, we just went back to my place, where he clearly expected things to progress, and then he couldn’t um er fulfill the promise let’s say.    He was gone by day break and I’ve never heard from him again, nor would  I care too. 

That was the most insulting date I ever went on, but something interesting came from it too.   This man lived in the same small town as my parents (who did know him, and were all agog that maybe I’d found ‘the one’  *rude snort*.   I disabused them of the notion without gory details, and simply said he’d been drunk the whole time (not a lie). 

 About a week later my father spotted the man on Main Street in that town, and ran up behind him and gave him a good swift kick in the ass, saying “You don’t treat ladies like that and you’re really a waste of time”.   Apparently the guy had been on a downhill slump for a few years and said that kick in the ass sort of ‘woke him up’.  Apparently he turned things around for himself.  He actually thanked my father for doing it too.  Moral of that story?  Don’t be mean to ‘daddy’s girls’ because it just might be that you’ll get a big kick in the ass if you do.”

16 thoughts on “Throw Back Thursday 7-28-2022 – Playing the Game

  1. The guy I was engaged to in 1974 was an alcoholic. It’s one of the reasons I can’t deal with drunks.
    Anyway, at the age of 22 he was drinking a full bottle of scotch a day. I gave him the ring back and sent him packing. Of course his parents blamed me for his drinking, though it was the guy who would have been our best man that put them right. He and the ex turned up one night at my parents as ex wanted to try again. He was on crutches having broken his foot when he fell down the stairs in a drunken stupor. My parents made themselves scarce but Dad said to call if I needed any help. Ex leaned against the gas stove in the kitchen and was shaking so uncontrollably that he kept lighting the gas which made me laugh out loud. It and he, was pathetic and his friend knocked on the door to collect him and take him home. I never saw either again.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. My heck! I’m glad I never had his nerve in my tooth! What an asshole. Drinking that much at that young an age showed he had some extremely serious problems. I am glad you dodged the bullet! 😨


  2. 1) On your very first date, did you do the asking, or were you asked out? – I was 15 at the time and my brother was going out with the sister of the girl that I eventually dated. Neither of us actually asked one another, it just happened because the sister’s were practically inseparable. My brother and his g/f were just happy they could get more alone time with me going out with the sister.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It did turn out well for the guy. There’s a movie line (maybe Animal House) that goes “Fat, stupid and drunk is no way to go through life” and although the guy wasn’t fat by any means, the other two? Applied. I’m glad he used the experience to better himself. No animosity on my part, it was what it was. When he turned up half drunk, I ought to have sent him packing anyway.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. There was a guy who clearly liked me (I was 19 and looked much better), who asked me to go out with him and took me to an amusement park nearby. He paid for our tickets and nothing else. Even bought himself a hotdog and drink and scarfed it in front of me. Didn’t even ask if I might like something. He thought (very mistakenly) that he was going to get laid and all he got was a punch in the eye from my boyfriend of the moment. I just never did ‘do’ cheapskates, although that seems like the sort that I was attracted to when all was said and done. The boyfriend came from money (or so he was always saying) and after the first date, he rarely paid for anything, always claiming to have left his wallet at home 🙄 and hubby was a penny pincher of the first water. One big reason I’ve never bothered to date since hubby died. Too damned much work and I can’t afford it in any case.

      Liked by 2 people

        1. Exactly! I had a dear friend (who has since passed away). She had been a shrewd business woman and retired with a sizable amount of money. I knew her when she wad in her early seventies. She was lovely and looked maybe 55 (she was an airline stewardess as a young woman). She said to me once when the discussion turned to men and dating “At my age any guy is looking for either a nurse or a purse, which is why I don’t date!”. That’s the best line I’ve ever heard
          against dating. Priceless!

          Liked by 1 person

  3. Thanks for joining in Melanie. Wow, I love your story about the drunk. Hip hip hooray for a loving dad that had your back. I completely agree that if a guy doesn’t pay on the first date he’s not worth my time. To me, a date is not a business meeting. I guess I am just an old fool.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. No, you are a strong woman. Or we’re all old fools. I had no confidence nor self esteem of any merit and looking back, if I were who I am now? They’d have been left wondering how they were ever going to pay (at least their share). Hubby (ironically) was a bigger spendthrift than I ever was, and I ended up doing the budgeting and bill paying when he was alive, while he got a small allowance.

      Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.